Kensington Gardens

In his mind, a picturesque forest or a flowerbed in bloom was real beauty. 

Kensington Gardens, Kensington, Westminster, W2

 

I’ve won awards you know. Not many, but I won them.

Broadgate Venus

He sunk into the seat, cowering in the safety of the car.

Fernando Botero's Broadgate Venus, Exchange Square, City of London, EC2A

A large lady had appeared on the edge of the tarmac and was pushing her way towards them. She was struggling with a pram filled with shopping and her face contorted in pained concentration.

Fernando Botero's Broadgate Venus, Exchange Square, City of London, EC2A

For a split second he thought she was going to come over to say something to them and he disappeared further into the leather seat.

Fernando Botero's Broadgate Venus, Exchange Square, City of London, EC2A

They both stared straight ahead as she heaved past. He followed her in the mirror as she waddled out of sight.

The Buddha of Suburbia

Of course she knew her address. But she didn’t know how her neighbourhood fitted into the grand layout of the city.

Hanif Kureishi's The Buddha of Suburbia, Bromley, BR4

How could she be certain it was the middle of nowhere where she couldn’t fathom the full geography of nowhere?

Hackney Empire

He scanned the headline.

Hackney Empire, Mare Street, Hackney, E8

His heart leapt with anguish as he read and re-read the opening paragraph.

Kestrel House

The building was watching her out of the corner of its eye; the street was long enough to allow her to turn her back on her home.

Kestrel House, City Road, Islington, N1

But as she journeyed further, she arched her back.

Kestrel House, City Road, Islington, N1

She could feel a dotted line of sight that travelled directly from the sheer walls of the darkened tower behind her and run down the bumps in her spine.

The Streets' Original Pirate Material, Kestrel House, City Road, Islington, N1

She knew the gaze did not peer from the building itself but from the windows that littered its facing side.

Camley Street Natural Park

She had never received kind words of guidance from anyone in her family and she shrivelled in embarrassment at the thought of Barbara lending her life experience as advice.

Camley Street Natural Park, King's Cross, Camden, NW1

This was a woman who spent Saturday evenings warbling to her little, round boyfriend in a tatty flat. This was not a path that she would be following.

Camley Street Natural Park, King's Cross, Camden, NW1

But by now she wasn’t even angry, just a little sick.

Chelsea Fire Station

It was true; there had been a few burnt cars left isolated on the nearby wasteland.

Chelsea Fire Station, King's Road, Kensington & Chelsea, SW3

They had come and gone, yet never had they held such an ominous presence as they did now.

Courtauld Gallery

In her mind, she likened all the people she saw to insects.

Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, The Strand, Westminster, WC2R

Or, if they were lucky enough not to be deemed entirely hopeless, farmyard animals.

Edouard Manet's A Bar at the Folies-Bergère, Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, The Strand, Westminster, WC2R

This imaginary divide made her feel superior.

Paul Gauguin's Nevermore, Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, The Strand, Westminster, WC2R

Although she considered that these were comparisons she had garnered from a book or cartoon from her childhood, she still revelled in a quiet satisfaction.

Claude Monet's Antibes, Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, The Strand, Westminster, WC2R

This was one of her hobbies. She was a people-watcher.

Courtauld Gallery, Somerset House, The Strand, Westminster, WC2R

The upturned hood, the tough stance; all helped to keep people away and allow her to become an undercover spectator.

The L-Shaped Room

A firm knock sounded at the bedroom door. She had not noticed how long she had been gazing idly but during this time the karaoke had lulled.

The L-Shaped Room, St Luke's Road, Notting Hill, Kensington & Chelsea, W11

Her father put the top half of his body around the door before she could even reply to the knock.

“Thought you was going down the shops? Where’s my fags?”

Grimsby Street

She felt so angry she wanted to scream.

Grimsby Street, Spitalfields, Tower Hamlets, E2

She wanted to scream into her pillow, so that the noise would be dampened and she wouldn’t embarrass herself.

City Hall

It was trying to crawl along the carpet with its fingertips, and by rocking its belly from side to side.

City Hall, The Queen's Walk, Southwark, SE1

Its vain attempt to push itself along was framed by the walls of the corridor that led to the front room.

Strand Station

All the flats up here had been long abandoned. Their front doors were buckled and grimy. On close inspection, mail dating back ten years could be found in doorways, piled up and covered in dust.

Strand Station (renamed Aldwych in 1915 and disused since 1994), Strand, Westminster, WC2

She couldn’t for the life of her work out why everyone had left.

Wembley Stadium (1974 and 2009)

Martin’s favourite game was one that he was confident he would win.

Leeds United versus Liverpool (1974 Charity Shield), Wembley Stadium, Wembley, Brent, HA9

It only had two players, so the odds of winning were quite favourable.

Wembley Stadium (2009), Wembley, Brent, HA9

Being a portly man nearing his early sixties, the game avoided any physical output and relied more on mental acrobatics.

Wembley Stadium (2009), Wembley, Brent, HA9

It had no name and only he knew the rules.

Royal Exchange

He sat in the car and rested himself on the steering wheel.

Royal Exchange, City of London, EC3

Looking at all the other parked cars, he thought to himself they’re so much poorer than me.

Westfield London

Huge earrings dangled from her lobes like some form of medieval torture technique.

Westfield London shopping centre, Ariel Way, Shepherd's Bush, Hammersmith & Fulham, W12

As each year passed, her jewellery and make-up became more elaborate to make up for her withering youth.

Westfield London shopping centre, Ariel Way, Shepherd's Bush, Hammersmith & Fulham, W12

Surely, in a few years, her ears would sag around her jaw line.

Windsor Castle

“It’s been around as long as I can remember”.

“How long can you remember though?”

Windsor Castle, Windsor, SL4

“Oh, not long”.

Victoria Road

After several nervous glances at his face she began to realise that, up close, he was not what she had been hoping for.

Dagenham & Redbridge FC, Victoria Road, Barking and Dagenham, RM10

In fact he was not even half of what she had been day-dreaming about.

Tate Modern

So she climbed the extra three stories to the twenty-fifth floor.  She took the stairs, as to not arouse suspicion.

Jeff Koons' Rabbit, Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

Even though she didn’t know the people who lived on those floors, she did not want anyone, familiar or not, interrupting.

Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

Her chosen route proved to be the most discreet option; during the ascent she did not see or hear one resident.

Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

As the stairs wound around above the final residential floor, they ended abruptly at a locked door. It was a compelling sight.

Kirsten Dunst in Takashi Murakami's Akihabara Majokko Princess, Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

It was a plain, white door; no different any other one. But it was doused in an ominous blue haze, which seeped around its edges. An electric blue.

Miroslaw Balka's How It Is, Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

A crescendo of noise had built as she went up the steps. A menacing hum enveloped her and each time she got higher it grew thicker around her.

Keith Haring tag, Tate Modern, Bankside, Southwark, SE1

At the very last step she tried the handle but the door didn’t budge. Warning signs littered the stairwell, yet were unable to prevent her from lingering curiously.

Hunterian Museum

There were plenty of strange specimens in the fridge. Odd-shaped vegetables in jars, pastes in tubes and food that she didn’t recognise as edible.

Hunterian Museum, Royal College of Surgeons, Lincoln's Inn Fields, Camden, WC2A

She let the fridge door swing shut and felt her stomach cry out.

Holloway Road

“What? Are you psychic or something?” he laughed.

Lena and Sophia's Psychic Studio, Holloway Road, Islington, N7

I could be.

Kentish Town Health Centre

Everything felt better here.

Kentish Town Health Centre, Bartholomew Road, Camden, NW5

The walls were white and bare. They reflected the electric light starkly and gave away no clue as to who lived in there.

Kentish Town Health Centre, Bartholomew Road, Camden, NW5

Now that she was alone, she could begin to think.

Postman’s Park

They were slumped despondently on the sofa as if they were in mourning.

Postman's Park, King Edward Street, City of London, EC1

Their grim faces were unable to summon a conversation as they sat silently in the dark and they seemed lifeless as she squinted at them.

Postman's Park, King Edward Street, City of London, EC1

What a tragedy, she thought.

Royal Academy of Arts

She was irritated by the way this woman swanned about like royalty. With her feet up, she waved her hand for attention.

Anish Kapoor's Tall Tree and the Eye, Royal Academy of Arts, Burlington House, Westminster, W1J

Who does she think she is?

Anish Kapoor's Shooting into the Corner, Royal Academy of Arts, Burlington House, Westminster, W1J

The Queen of Sheba?

Anish Kapoor's Yellow, Royal Academy of Arts, Burlington House, Wesminster, W1J

She was the sort of person that they had used to laugh at. And now, somehow, she had worked herself into the family.

Harecourt United Reformed Church

She was restless despite the silence.

Harecourt United Reform Church, St Paul's Road, Islington, N1

After a few minutes, she ventured from her room.

The Insidious Dr Fu Manchu

She concluded that a face that severe and unsmiling belonged to a naturally evil man.

Sax Rohmer's The Insidious Dr Fu Manchu, Limehouse Basin, Poplar, Tower Hamlets, E14

So every time she saw it, she sneered back.

In Town

The walls were littered with framed photographs from her childhood.

John Ravera's In Town, Battersea Bridge Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

These faces were accompanied by braces, toothy smiles and drool, and neither of them looked like her at all.

John Ravera's In Town, Battersea Bridge Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

The photographs were faded in the sun and tinted blue.

Brunswick Shopping Centre

“Let’s go shopping!” she cried, throwing her arms up with a forced joy.

Brunswick Shopping Centre, Bloomsbury, Camden, WC1N

Her smile became a grin, transformed into a grimace and then closed shut, after her suggestion was met with a mute look.

The Battle of Cable Street

The big man moved with great speed for someone so cumbersome. Within an instant he had placed the weight back on the nearest rack and taken two great strides across the mat towards her.

Dave Binnington's Battle of Cable Street, Cable Street, Shadwell, Tower Hamlets, E1

Within an instant he was towering over her, still ruddy and sweating. He gripped her forearm tightly and drew her close to his face. She yelped as tears welled in her eyes.

Detail from Battle of Cable Street by Ray Walker, Cable Street, Shadwell, Tower Hamlets, E1

He brought her face up to his, so she could not escape his manic stare. His face filled her view, not allowing her look away.

EMI House (1963 and 1969)

Everybody was getting older. That was obvious.

The Beatles 1962-1966, EMI House (1963), Manchester Square, Westminster, W1U

Yet age didn’t seem to treat everyone equally. She noticed the grey hairs, bags and wrinkles that had crept onto her father’s face and considered her own future.

The Beatles 1967-1970, EMI House (1969), Manchester Square, Westminster, W1U

Then she remembered her mother, who was still perfect yet hidden away.

Tower Bridge Road

She was wearing a tight tiger print dress that held her legs close together so she wobbled precariously across the room.

Tower Bridge Road, Bermondsey, Southwark, SE1

It was pulled so tight that it was disappearing up into her jacket.

Ealing Road

The crowd was like a liquid, spilling around the foot of the building.

Ealing Road stand, Griffin Park, Brentford, Middlesex, TW8

The ball of people elongated and then reformed into a circle. 

Ealing Road stand, Griffin Park, Brentford, Middlesex, TW8

And, within seconds, it had disappeared around the vast concrete corner as quickly as it had appeared.

Orion Building

She was aware that she felt completely different to everyone else around her.

Orion Building, London Metropolitan University, Holloway Road, Islington, N7

Although she couldn’t be sure if this was good or bad.

Orion Building, London Metropolitan University, Holloway Road, Islington, N7

There was no answer to her confused state, so she didn’t worry herself by lingering on the matter. She was different, and that was that.

Orion Building, London Metropolitan University, Holloway Road, Islington, N7

It was just moments like this that reminded her that some of the people closest to her seemed like part of an alien race.

A Study in Scarlet

She had to be sly now. She knew she would be clever enough to ask the right questions and gain the information she needed from her father, or even Barbara, without them knowing her intent.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's A Study in Scarlet, Baker Street, Westminster, NW1

She approached her father, who was still recuperating on the sofa.

National Gallery

He knew he was clever. It was a fact and needed to confirmation or evidence.

National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, Westminster, WC2‎

Just ask my parents; they’ll tell you how clever I was at school. Could have been anything. Painter. Actor. Mathematician. 

Norbet Goeneutte's The Boulevard de Clichy under Snow, National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, Westminster, WC2‎

His parents weren’t around anymore to back him up and sing his praises. Showing him off like a prized possession.

George Stubbs' Whistlejacket, National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, Westminster, WC2‎

Could have been anything. Anything. But I chose to be a photographer. My choice. Could’ve been anything though.

National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, Westminster, WC2‎

Now there was no way he could prove he much more than a wedding photographer. No way of displaying his cleverness. And this is what frustrated him the most.

Turkish Baths

The mirror on the bathroom cabinet was an enemy. There was no way of stopping it from reflecting.

Turkish Baths, Old Broad Street, City of London, EC2

She could always make out her own naked figure through the mist of the steamed-up glass.

Turkish Baths, Old Broad Street, City of London, EC2

“That was quick. You sure you washed yourself?”

London Ark

However, she could look at this menagerie with relief. She was happy that she was not like the animals that trooped daily through the corridors of the tower.

London Ark, Talgarth Road, Hammersmith & Fulham, W6

They were not even nice, well-groomed animals.

The London Ark, Talgarth Road, Hammersmith & Fulham, W6

Strange half-breeds. Unkempt and angry. All penned in and roaming the same ground.

New River Walk

Here, a moustache curled over his top lip and crept down the sides of his mouth.

New River Walk, Canonbury, Islington, N1

His hair was thinning yet sticking up in messy tufts. His face, which seemed small under a pair of tinted glasses, belonged to a man that didn’t exist anymore.

Roundhouse

It was a kind of non-music. A distorted noise that every now and again pummelled the walls.

David Byrne's Playing the Building, Roundhouse, Chalk Farm, Camden, NW1

It was impossible to prevent it or locate it’s source, as the building throbbed from all different angles.

David Byrne's Playing the Building, Roundhouse, Chalk Farm, Camden, NW1

She had been living so long in the presence of noise, that being surrounded by it seemed normal.

David Byrne's Playing the Building, Roundhouse, Chalk Farm, Camden, NW1

Silence was abnormal.

The quietness that now filled her room gave the flat a lifeless feeling and she felt a need for noise.

Donnybrook Quarter

A sharp pull at the back of the hood revealed her face and her hair, which was tucked into the neck of her sweater. This sudden movement broke her line of vision; she closed her eyes and when they re-focused she was staring at her whole face.

Donnybrook Quarter, Parnell Road, Bow, Tower Hamets, E3

She had pale skin but the stark, bright light bulb that hung from the centre of the ceiling without a shade or cover, made her seem a perfect white. The end of her hair curled underneath the lobes of her ears.

Donnybrook Quarter, Parnell Road, Bow, Tower Hamets, E3

She stared at herself for a long time. She realised her legs were beginning to tremble from standing motionless for so long.

McKiernan Court

Opening both eyes and raising her head off of the sill, she saw that nobody was about.

McKiernan Court, Shuttleworth Road, Battersea, Wandsworth, SW11

It was about eleven o’clock and the only inhabitants of the forecourt were a group of sunbathing pigeons who were curled up on the crudely-fashioned wheelchair ramp that ran alongside the steps to the main entrance of the tower.

Devonshire Square

He was not the knight in shining armour that she had been hoping for.

Denys Mitchell's Knight, Devonshire Square, City of London, EC2M

He’s no different to anyone else.

London Transport Museum

Traffic circled the ground around the towers, turning it into an island.

London Transport Museum, Wellington Street, Covent Garden, Westminster, WC2E

Sometimes the cars and buses became jammed behind traffic lights, sending a low hum over to the thousands of windows.

London Transport Museum, Wellington Street, Covent Garden, Westminster, WC2E

This sound was pierced by the speeding motorbikes that were allowed to overtake by the stationary vehicles. From the windows, all the metallic little objects seemed to be moving so quickly around the gigantic concrete structures.

London Transport Museum, Wellington Street, Covent Garden, Westminster, WC2E

On some days, she would follow the cars as they swung around the curved road in the distance. They would all be vanishing off to somewhere else.

London Transport Museum, Wellington Street, Covent Garden, Westminster, WC2E

However, she never felt the need to leave.

Thames Barrier

There was a wall of awkwardness that lay between them. Invisible but firm.

Thames Barrier, Charlton, Greenwich, SE18

Whenever either of them got to close to the other, the wall intervened, rising up between them and deflecting any sign of affection.

Thames Barrier, Charlton, Greenwich, SE18

It made their relationship distant, which, in a way that relieved both of them, was extremely suitable.

BT Tower

She picked up the receiver and gave an inevitable whimper.

BT Tower, Cleveland Street, Marylebone, Camden, W1T

Realising her helplessness, she then shook the phone with annoyance and fell back onto the sofa.

Hangover Square

“I think we had a bit too much last night,” she croaked. She was looking for sympathy and coughed with her tongue poking over her lower lip.

Patrick Hamilton's Hangover Square, Earl's Court Road, Kensington & Chelsea, SW5

Raising her voice as not be ignored, she said: “They say that peanut butter is a good hangover cure”.

Crypt Gallery

They held each other awkwardly. She kept her head away from the wailing and tears to save herself from being caked in running make-up.

Crypt Gallery, St Pancras Church, Euston, NW1

Unintelligible, breathy sobs escaped from the mop of curls and echoed in the empty hospital corridor.

What’s the problem? He’s not dead.

Ras Conrad photography, Crypt Gallery, St Pancras Church, Euston, NW1

She could think of words of comfort but was too embarrassed to say them.

“He ain’t dead. Is he?”

Crypt Gallery, St Pancras Church, Euston, NW1

The howling mess leaned forward for further embrace but she took a half-step backwards and tried to disguise her frown.

Heneage Street

“What? Do you like him Paula?” Barbara was crowing with laughter.

Her mouth curled and her eyes rolled. She could feel her face going red just at the thought of her being involved with a man.

Heneage Street, Spitalfields, Tower Hamlets, E1

As her embarrassment grew, her cheeks became redder.

Quantum Cloud

Absolutely no clouds.

Antony Gormley's Quantum Cloud, North Greenwich, Tower Hamlets, SE10

She tried to look for them but couldn’t see any. She wondered if it was because it was too dark to see them and tried to remember if she had seen a cloud at night before.

Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology

The monkeys were muttering and picking at eachother’s fleas in the stairwell.

Faience model baboons from Hierakonpolis, Petrie Museum, UCL, Bloomsbury, WC1E

When she passed, she wondered if the short, fat monkey even noticed her presence.

Golden Lane Campus

“Didn’t you learn nothing at school?”

Golden Lane Campus, Whitecross Street, Islington, EC1Y

Yeah, I learnt nothing. It was a waste of time. Everything I’ve ever needed to know, I’ve taught myself.

Golden Lane Campus, Whitecross Street, Islington, EC1Y

They partook in a restrained arguments of sorts about the merits of attending school. Her father had reasoned that she would not want to end up in his position. She agreed.

Golden Lane Campus, Whitecross Street, Islington, EC1Y

That was the last time she had mentioned school to her father.

Union Chapel

The church, with its grand interior, had filled him with awe. It had been a long time since he had been inside one and the stained-glass windows, the stone carvings and the booming organ echoing of the walls had made a deep impression.

Union Chapel, Compton Avenue, Islington, N1

Unfortunately for him, this experience had been ruined by the people that had filled the pews that day.

Union Chapel, Compton Avenue, Islington, N1

As they muttered through the hymns, laughed and rolled their eyes during the vows, he lingered at the back of the church, and watched with growing annoyance.

Powis Gardens

Despite the clear sky, the moon was not strong enough to provide sufficient light. She became tired of squinting.

Powis Gardens, Notting Hill, Kensington & Chelsea, W11

The whole situation was unatural. It was quiet and dark like midnight, yet it was not time to sleep.

Things were happening that she could not see.

British Library

Words ran backwards. And then forwards.

British Library, Euston Road, King's Cross, Camden, NW1

Either way, none of them seemed to make any sense.

Driftwood

There were sheets of wood leaning against the wall outside one door. She presumed they were intended to become shelves, a wardrobe or some other unmade piece of furniture.

Danecia Sibingo's Driftwood, Bedford Square, Bloomsbury, Camden, WC1B

They had been there since she could remember. Collecting dust and never moving.

Danecia Sibingo's Driftwood, Bedford Square, Bloomsbury, Camden, WC1B

It was the same with nearly all of the other doorways. The same stickers had been curling of the glass for years, the same bikes loitered unused in the hallway, the same smells, sounds and people stayed hidden behind the walls.

Design Museum

She had always wanted a pet. Something small; something managable.

Design Museum, Shad Thames, Southwark, SE1

But could never admit to it. She feared her father would find her the mangiest pet possible and she would be stuck with it.

Trinity Buoy Wharf

He would sail the length and breadth of Britain in his boat. With his wife. Maybe without his wife. He imagined restocking from local stores, drinking in countryside pubs and making idle chat with his fellow boatmen.

Rudder. Starboard. Aft. Steering wheel?

Trinity Buoy Wharf, East India, Tower Hamlets, E14

Money restraints aside, it was ideal. It was the perfect solution for him anyhow.

Trinity Buoy Wharf, East India, Tower Hamlets, E14

I don’t even know how to drive a bloody boat.

Millbank Tower

She looked at a solitary girder that jutted out of the ground and wondered why it was there. It was bent and dented, and looked slightly apologetic for its existence.

Millbank Tower, Millbank, Westminster, SW1P

She threw her head back and groaned loudly.

Girders. The most interesting thing I can think of is girders.

New North Road

Her father would enter, place a tray of food in front of her and leave. Neither would say a word.

New North Road, Hackney, N1

If he was not around, then toast would suffice. She considered “cooking toast” to be a substantial meal.

The Foundling Museum

Another girl at school had joked that “she must have been adopted”.

The Foundling Museum, Brunswick Square, Bloomsbury, Camden, WC1N

Paula wondered why the girl had laughed when she said this.

MTV building

She thought of all the things that she would miss on TV. The screen was blank, yet she played with the remote.

MTV building, Hawley Crescent, Camden Town, Camden, NW1

Perhaps if she turned the television on, it would suddenly burst into life when the electricity was restored.

MTV building, Hawley Crescent, Camden Town, Camden, NW1

She thought of all the things that she would never even know she had missed.

Tarling Street

“Wasp!” came the exclamation.

“Wasp! Bee!”

Tarling Street, Shadwell, Tower Hamlets, E1

Barbara flew into a melee of arms and hair as she mauled the space that surrounded her. She paused her flailing and hurriedly scanned the room. A shriek sounded as she failed to see her assailant.

Go in her mouth. Fly in her mouth.

Hammersmith Bridge Road Surgery

He began to clean his teeth and stare blankly at himself doing so in the mirror. He spat into the sink.

Hammersmith Bridge Road Surgery, Hammersmith & Fulham, W6

The froth of toothpaste was red. He froze. Keeping his jaw slack, he brought his head up in line with the mirror. He opened his mouth as wide as he could and showed himself his teeth.  

Hammersmith Bridge Road Surgery, Hammersmith & Fulham, W6

Still gripping the toothbrush in his right hand, he ran the index finger on his left hand around his gum as he began to panic.

Tower of London

Someone had set fire to the contents of a bin outside. Some people that could not be identified from a distance had gathered to bathe in light and heat.

Detail from The Tower and the Mint by T. Shotter Boys, The Good, the Bad & the Queen, Tower Hill, City of London, EC3N

It was the only light visable in the circle of darkness.

Little Green

The cloudless sky and the rays of light that reflected off the structure’s vast concrete body were misleading.

Little Green, Richmond-upon-Thames, TW9

It was still bitterly cold.

Alexandra Palace

Her home was a palace with gardens trimmed and magnificent. She began to feel increasingly proud as she roamed its grounds.

Alexandra Palace, Wood Green, Haringey, N22

She held her breath as she trotted past a pyramid of full bin bags that loitered by the front door. The palatial image was immediately forgotten.

Wellcome Collection

It was the first time she had been in a hospital since she was born. She had acquired directions to where her father was and was now wandering identical corridors and feeling increasingly ill.

Wellcome Collection, Euston Road, Bloomsbury, Camden, NW1

Every cough concerned her. Every glance from a person in a white coat embarrassed her.

Wellcome Collection, Euston Road, Bloomsbury, Camden, NW1

It would help, she thought, if she had worn a sign around her neck proclaiming that she was not ill. That she was only visiting. That there was nothing wrong with her.

Ganton Street

There was still no light. The switches and sockets were all very tempting but not matter how much they were flicked and prodded, they remained redundant.

Ganton Street, Soho, Westminster, W1F

She used the dead television screen as a mirror whilst thinking of something to do.

The Beacon

It was five o’ clock and darkness was already begining to settle, making the street lights increasingly noticeable.

The Beacon, Old Street, City of London, EC1V

Every second they seemed to become more brilliant, displaying their usefulness with a pride that had lacked when she came down the hill just less than an hour earlier.

East Finchley archer

“Look at that. Look at that,” he groaned as he flexed his arm. Paula was not sure who these commands were aimed at but looked just the same.

Eric Aumonier's archer, East Finchley Station, Great North Road, Finchley, Barnet, N2

But she was far from impressed. Her morbid interest prompted her to wonder if his arms might explode if she stayed any longer.

Hayward Gallery

She noticed that, like her father, he had a prominent lower jaw.

Hayward Gallery, Belvedere Road, Lambeth, SE1‎

It jutted out in a neanderthal fashion.

Hayward Gallery, Belvedere Road, Lambeth, SE1

His mouth seemed to be moving nearer to her as he spoke. It was quite off-putting and she became conscious that she was staring at his jaw as it churned.

Kingsland Road

Sensing a glimmer of freedom, she began to quicken her stride. However, her escape was cut short when a firm hand clasped her elbow.

Kingsland Road, Dalston, Hackney, E8

Again she felt his strong grip and again she burned with fear.

Kyoto Garden

He was hypnotised by the rushing water.

Kyoto Garden, Holland Park, Kensington & Chelsea, W6

The sound of it gushing freely away seemed to grow and grow. After a while he realised that he had been staring at the sink for a good minute; unable to break his trance.

Westminster Cathedral

“Yeah, but do the stripes actually make it go faster?”

Westminster Cathedral, Francis Street, Westminster, SW1P

Even the little boy was laughing at her.

Estorick Collection of Modern Italian Art

She tried to look away but found herself unable to escape his face as he held her firmly. He was still talking but her hearing had deadened.

Workshop Missoni, Estorick Collection, Canonbury Square, Islington, N1

The garage had become an oven and its dark corners danced with colour.

Estorick Collection, Canonbury Square, Islington, N1

A fever overwhelmed her as she shook in his grasp. She was burning while patches of light flashed in front of her eyes.

Gilbert Bridge

Everywhere the couple went, they were followed by a glow. And everywhere they went they were also followed a curious gaze.

Gilbert Bridge, Barbican Centre, City of London, EC2Y

This brightness emanated from two places: the top of his bald pate and from her golden teeth.

Gilbert Bridge, Barbican Estate, City of London, EC2Y

Their loud clothes, coupled with the joyous glow, made everyone, including Paula, very suspicious.

Bevin Court

His rage had been displaced by a sense of justice. Now he tackled the stairs with a triumphant bound.

Berthold Lubetkin's Bevin Court, Islington, WC1X

Exiting the building, he felt considerably happier than he had half an hour before.

Berthold Lubetkin's Bevin Court, Islington, WC1X

He revelled in the knowledge that he would never need to return. On reaching his car, he turned, gave the building a victorious grin, and left.

Hackney Peace Carnival mural

At any moment a stab of loud music could pierce the walls, signalling a night of unrest.

Hackney Peace Carnival mural, Dalston Lane, Hackney, E8

The disturbance continued invariably at all hours; people being noisily happy and noisily unhappy.

Raoul Wallenberg memorial

“No need to be a hero Andy,” she tutted, as he sprawled on the sofa recovering.

Raoul Wallenberg memorial, Great Cumberland Place, Marble Arch, Westminster, W1H

“Hero? I’m only trying to carry the shopping home. Some hero I’d make,” he gasped.

She was already out of earshot, pulling on the plastic thread of a cigarette packet in the kitchen.

Millennium Dome (2005)

He pulled the door up with minimal effort, revealing that the garage was a lot different on the inside. There was no car, no oil, no spare parts.

Richard Rogers' Millennium Dome (2005), Millennium Way, Greenwich, SE10

Its battered shell had given the outside world the impression that it was disused. However, it had been transformed.

Gilbey’s Wharf

The street was filled with stationary vehicles; parked head to toe. As her journey dragged on, the reflection that shone from the many windows that she passed grew more tired and more deflated.

Gilbey's Wharf, Camden Lock, Camden, NW1

The reflection removed its hood, revealing a flushed face that was panting for air.

Saatchi Gallery

It felt like an invasion. Over the past few months, objects that were familiar to her had started to disappear. In their place were the results of Barbara’s various evening classes.

Aaron Young's Greeting Card, Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York's HQ, Kensington & Chelsea, SW3

A bizarre painting had replaced the printed watercolour that had hung in the front room.

Jonas Wood's Untitled, Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York's HQ, Kensington & Chelsea, SW3

Its frame was smaller than the previous picture and exposed a rectangle of bright wallpaper around it edges where the sun had not previously reached.

Peter Coffin's Untitled, Saatchi Gallery, Duke of York's HQ, Kensington & Chelsea, SW3

Paula discarded it as tat. And it was this tat that lined the windowsills. Also, a lop-sided sculpture had replaced a faded photograph of her mother and father on the mantelpiece above the false fireplace.

Dalston Culture House

“What’s your house like?”

Dalston Culture House, Gillett Square, Hackney, N16

This was a question that was hard to answer.  

Dalston Culture House, Gillett Square, Hackney, N16

It was a home but not a house. But no-one needed to know this. She was happy with half-truths and so always answered in the same way.

“Big, ” she replied.

The Vinyl Cut

His bare skin brushed against her as he turned to leave the lift.

Peter McDonald's The Vinyl Cut, The Cut, Southwark, SE1

She recoiled in horror and was still shocked by the sudden contact when she realised that he was waiting for her to step out in the foyer.

No-one was about. She could not work out if this was a blessing or not.

London Silver Vaults

“My chain? Pure silver,” he said unprompted.

She was not impressed and made no attempt to seem as if she was. So she stayed silence and watched as he strutted closer.

London Silver Vaults, Chancery Lane, Camden, WC2A

“Oh yeah, don’t want no gold. That’s for show. I’m serious. Don’t need no gold,” he continued, getting uncomfortably close.

Lloyd’s building

Tonight, a spacecraft landed. Shining, metallic and stern. It was an exact replica of the tower, yet it glowed with an ominous resonance.

Richard Rogers' Lloyd's building, Lime Street, City of London, EC3M

She had crossed over to the craft and taken the lift to where she lived in the real world. But the faceless, rotund figure that answered the door would not let her in, no matter how much she identified herself.

What does it mean? Absolutely nothing.

Westbourne Park Road

She realised her legs were beginning to tremble from standing motionless for so long. Her eyes had lost focus and her concentration was weakening by the moment, making the image in the mirror blur and refract in the glass.

Westbourne Park Road, Notting Hill, Kensington & Chelsea, W2

She could now see a white ball on top of a blue figure, capped by a reddish-brown crown. And she felt disappointment. Her shoulders had fallen and her chin had doubled, hiding her neck. Had she forgotten what she looked like?

Topolski Century

She was comfortable knowing her neighbours’ flaws. Or what she perceived to be flaws. The ugly faces, the strange voices and the unexplained limps had been with her for a long, long time.

Topolski Century, Concert Hall Approach, Lambeth, SE1

In fact, a lifetime of exposure to these odd people had not dulled her curiosity. Guesswork based on watching and crucifying had brought these characters to life. The thought often passed through her mind that she could spend all day people-watching. She had time to watch and time to label, blame and dismiss.

Topolski Century, Concert Hall Approach, Lambeth, SE1

And plenty of it. Time.

Isokon building

He was isolated between a poisoned carriage driver, whose yellow face sucked on a cigarette and revealed myriad lines of disgust, and minions of wedding-addled sloths that crowded the foyer.

Wells Coates' Isokon building, Lawn Road, Camden, NW3

The carriage driver was making no attempt to round up the family or locate the bride, the groom, or whoever would be travelling in his vehicle.

Wells Coates' Isokon building, Lawn Road, Camden, NW3

His lines sunk even further as he puffed; a question was working its way to his mouth.

Lots Road Power Station

Endless packets of cigarettes no doubt.

Her father grappled powerlessly with a task so manual it made her wince with embarrassment. He held one bag in each outstretched arm as he struggled onwards. The bags swung erratically; their motion proving troublesome as they clipped his heels.

Lots Road Power Station, Kensington & Chelsea, SW10

The strain he put into pulling his pitiful baggage along with him was dwarfed in comparison to the power exerted by the other man who shared the grassy track.

A Child of the Jago

When she saw the children that lived nearby, she observed how different they were to her when she was their age.  These were dirty children.

Arthur Morrison's A Child of the Jago, Arnold Circus, Shoreditch, Tower Hamlets, E2

She had seen two young boys, no more than six or seven, parading triumphantly with the dirty, sun-aged page of a newspaper. The page that one of the boys held revealed a topless girl, which was held aloft like a trophy. She reckoned that had she been five or six years younger, that none of the children in the tower would have been her friends.

Filthy children.

Highgate Cemetery

“Go on, make us a coffee,” she ordered.

“Can’t if there’s no ‘letric”.

Highgate Cemetery, Camden, N6

“Alright bighead,” Barbara retorted callously.

Remembering her duty to be nice to the girl, she quickly threw a strained smile her way in order to show she was joking. Of course, she was not.

Notting Hill Gate

Now all of the strangers’ eyes were on him. He held total control over all of these people, albeit for a few seconds. He was enjoying himself immensely.

Notting Hill Gate, Kensington & Chelsea, W11

So he stood extremely still and remained in the same spot as seconds passed. Smiles were weakening and gradually turning into grimaces.

Fantastic, he thought to himself.

Mandela Way

Even though he had likened the area of scrub land to a battlefield, he was certain this gentleman was, and never had been, in the army.

Mandela Way, Southwark, SE1

Despite this, he had fallen into line. They marched and marched. From the foyer to the car park, where manoeuvres ceased.

Mandela Way, Southwark, SE1

On reaching his car – his car- he felt an idiotic urge to be thankful. Not only did he feel belittled by the po-faced sergeant major, he felt enraged as he saw that the car park was empty save for one vehicle.

Pipers Central London Model

“It’s just a building Martin. No need to get worked up”.

His nose twitched and his teeth shuddered. In order to summon enough energy to prevent himself from arguing, he gripped the underside of the table.

Pipers Central London Model, NLA, Camden, WC1E

A weak smile crept from his lips to disguise his contempt. He wanted to tear the picture apart.

Bulldoze the whole bloody thing.

Barbican Estate

When she lay on the bed, the darkness covered everything endlessly. And, with no electricity, she could not hide from it. She knew that, come sunrise, the building would still be standing in the same position as always. But this darkness sent her wild with imagination.

Chamberlin, Powell and Bon's Barbican Estate, City of London, EC2Y

I could be anywhere right now.

Chamberlin, Powell and Bon's Barbican Estate, City of London, EC2Y

She did not even need to close here eyes to picture a nothingness surrounding her and separating her from a nine-storey drop to the ground.

Institute of Contemporary Art

Each member of the family bore a mournful pallor. Their ashen faces were topped with blonde hair that, against their sickly tone, seemed to be a perfect yellow. A pure colour that reminded her of untouched margarine.

Institute of Contemporary Art, The Mall, Westminster, SW1

She noticed that they never walked as a group but always one-by-one in a line, without conversation, as if they were the silent ghosts of a bygone margarine-haired family.

Aspern Grove

After half an hour of being silently locked in the bathroom, she would be transformed. Time spent preparing her face for the parade.

Aspern Grove, Belsize Park, Camden, NW3

How the cracked windscreen on the battered car would reflect her beauty. How the upturned shopping trolley would appreciate her splendour. She was made up. Time to commence the procession.

Wood Green gasometer

Where had all the power gone?

Wood Green gasometer, Haringey, N22

She repeatedly flicked the light switch on and off but the impregnable gloom would not budge from the front room. She paused for a moment, considered searching for candles, and then returned to thrashing at the switch, hoping her increased frenzy would prompt a miraculous power surge.

BFI IMAX

No matter how bad she thought the film was, she could sit next to him on the sofa in complete silence and feel at ease. The volume was turned up unnecessarily loud; countering the lack of conversation and pinning her back in her seat.

Katherine Baxter’s BFI IMAX, Charlie Chaplin Walk, Lambeth, SE1

The lights had been switched off but the room was lit fluorescent blue, which flickered as the shapes on the screen moved. Despite the scattered moments of light from the television, she was hidden by this gloom. She allowed herself a handful of grins.

The Eisenhower Centre

“It’s like a bloody war zone out there,” he protested.

The Eisenhower Centre, Chenies Street, near Goodge Street station, Camden, WC1E

“A war zone with swings and recycling bins?”

The Eisenhower Centre, Chenies Street, near Goodge Street station, Camden, WC1E

He paused to study her blank face. He considered what he had said. “Yeah, a bloody war zone with bins and swings. If I’m not back in fifteen minutes; I’ll probably be dead”.

Windows 108

Flap flap. Squawk squawk. It wasn’t an owl, she thought. What did she remind her of? Some sort of bird.

“You look like a bird,” she retorted before she could think. She wished she had come up with a better comeback; this one only made the laughs louder as Barbara began waving her elbows while she had her hand clasped on her hips.

Maggie Ellenby's Windows 108, Rosebery Avenue, Islington, EC1R

“You make a good bird,” her father cried. “A good bird”.

“That’s cos I’m your bird,” she replied whilst fanning herself with the rolled up crossword book and batting her eyelashes.

Royal London Hospital

She had forgotten that activity could feel good. The day had been bright for winter and the cold air had awoken a purpose in her.

Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, Tower Hamlets, E1

But as she neared the end of her journey homewards, she began to feel an ache in her legs. She felt slow and tired like one of the old ladies creeping around the base of the tower when the wind ran along the plain.

Royal London Hospital, Whitechapel, Tower Hamlets, E1

The ache spread, and the stillness of the streets echoed her taut breathing; louder and louder until it was the only sound caught in her hood.

Leake Street

He returned to the car, which was as he left it. Not stripped of its valuables or burnt into wreckage. He felt quietly nonplussed about the experience. This neutral feeling gave way to disappointment. Not even a grafitti-ed profanity. 

Leake Street, Lambeth, SE1

 All the doors were covered in graffiti. The playground with the swings and roundabout too. The bins, the garages and the shops. The cats, the dogs, the…

Leake Street, Lambeth, SE1

 How disappointing, he thought. I’m just being stupid now.

Nile Street

Mr Benson was made out of painful angles.

Munkenbeck + Partners Architects' Nile Street, Hackney, N1

His cheekbones were so sharp he never smiled, for fear of cutting his own face.

Out of Order

“Just because I got a phone, doesn’t mean I want to phone anyone”. 

David Mach's Out of Order, Eden Street, Kingston-upon-Thames, KT1

She thought she was being clever but instead she had just reacted with the first thing that had entered her mind.  When there was time to reflect, she began to feel sorry for herself.

Olympic Way

“You got your Chelseas, your Fulhams and your QPRs”.

As he listed each one, he pushed down on his left thumb with his right forefinger. And each time he did that, she cringed a little bit more.

Olympic Way, Wembley, Brent, HA9

He didn’t even like football. He was just hanging on the notion that sport was a common ground that brought all males together.

“You got Accrington Stanley too, ain’t ya?”

He grinned. She shuddered.

The Monument (1750)

Up you go, right to the stop. Right up without stopping. 

Sutton Nicholls' The Monument (1750), City of London, EC3R

Because the pink tracksuits, the football boots, the string vests and the saris don’t like you.

Notre Dame de France

She craned and craned; gripping the edge of the balcony for safety. This was as far as she could lean without endangering herself. A grin escaped from her lips.

Jean Cocteau's murals, Notre Dame de France, Westminster, WC2H

She felt clever. Up on the balcony spying. She peered down at the pink tracksuit, and it became smaller and smaller as it sauntered out of view. From the vantage point nine floors up, her grin became a smile.

I can see her, but she can’t see me.

Soseki Museum

She hadn’t been to college. Not that there was an empty desk meant for her. She had been recommended to actively seek employment.

Soseki Museum, The Chase, Lambeth, SW4

Actively, she was doing nothing.

She wanted to write, draw, learn, but was encouraged to look elsewhere. She was angry at herself but it was too late; angry too late.

Container City

They had all been boxed up together. Working away at their lives and retiring to their boxes at the end of the day. They were like ants, she thought. Or were they bees?

Container City, Trinity Buoy Wharf, Tower Hamlets, E14

She was at the centre of all the boxes, looking out. Not working. Just watching all the coming and goings.

Container City, Trinity Buoy Wharf, Tower Hamlets, E14

Even when she was in her room and she couldn’t even see the other ants, she could hear them. Ants, bees, whatever they were. She heard them and saw them every day in the same places.

Shri Swaminarayan Mandir‎

“You not going to invite any girls to your party? How about Paula?”

Shri Swaminarayan Mandir‎, Brentfield Road, Brent, NW10

“Yeah but she’s not really a girl”.

Head of Invention

He kept his jaw slack and brought his head up into line with the mirror. He opened his mouth as wide as he could and showed himself his teeth.

Eduardo Paolozzi's Head of Invention, Shad Thames, Southwark, SE1

Still gripping the toothbrush in his right hand, he ran the index finger on his left hand around his gum as he began to panic.

Edgware Road station

No pink. No yellow. No purple.

Edgware Road station, Westminster, W2

No pink. No pink. No pink.

York Hall

If anyone saw them together, they would know she had someone to fight for her now.

York Hall, Old Ford Road, Bethnal Green, Tower Hamlets, E2

She lay back and began to imagine.

British Museum station (1909)

If it hadn’t been for the sign, she would have dismissed him as the wrong person. She was terrified. What to say now?

British Museum station (1909), Bury Place, Camden, WC1A

He looked like someone she used to know. Someone she had known a long time ago but had forgotten about.

Hampstead Heath

It was something to look up at, and something to look out of. From a viewpoint on one of the higher floors, it was no exaggeration to say you could see for miles.

Hampstead Heath shelter, Camden, NW3

There was nothing to see, but nevertheless, the view stretched to the horizon.

Wood Street

She walked slowly down the pavement, trying to peer into any of the houses that had the curtains ajar wide enough for prying. The shadows on the street were lengthening, yet it was not quite late enough for the street lighting to be on. Although it had been a bright day for mid-February, the surroundings were now quite solemn. Everybody seemed to be indoors.

Richard Rogers' 88 Wood Street, City of London, EC2

Apart from her.

Richard Rogers' 88 Wood Street, City of London, EC2

This was the last leg of the traipse to the supermarket and back. When she was halfway across the tarmac, she could see that someone had pierced a beer can on the gate that led into the playground. She thought to herself, I know who did that.

Syon Park

He squinted and began to mouth at the car whilst tapping his watch. He made out the outline of her face but the reflections on the windscreen were too bright for him to focus on any response.

Syon Park, Brentford, Hounslow, TW8

For all he knew, she could have her eyes closed.

For all he knew, she wasn’t even looking.

Kensal Green Cemetery

She pulled her hood down. She watched herself do it in the mirror. Looking straight into her eyes in the reflection. Only the eyes for now. Not wavering up or down even the slightest. Just at the eyes. By doing this she could be completely happy with how she looked. For now. 

Kensal Green Cemetery, Brent, W10

You’ve got beautiful eyes.

Yeah, but I knew that already.

Wick Lane

Not only was it a big voice, it was a confident voice. Ordering, telling. Not asking.

Big voice; big man. Leaving an indelible impression.

Wick Lane, Bow, Tower Hamlets, E3

She waited a few more moments and pushed her cheek against the bedroom window. It was too dark to see down to the bottom of the tower but she knew that he would be leading her father across his car park, past his garage.

Telling. Not asking.

Regent’s Canal towpath

Noticing her husband’s glee, she shot out another silent laugh; opening her mouth as wide as possible, screwing her eyes nearly shut and wrinkling her nose.

Regent's Canal towpath near St John

“It’s karaoke, ain’t it?” he said to his daughter, as if she had been lingering for an explanation.

Greenwich Foot Tunnel

And it was really cold.

That sound. Like someone exhaling forever.

Greenwich Foot Tunnel to Cutty Sark Gardens, Greenwich, SE10

Click.

St Dunstan’s-in-the-East

“It’s nice for the kids to go to church. You know, it’ll be the only chance they get”.

St Dunstan's-in-the-East, St Dunstan's Hill, City of London, EC3R

It’ll be the only chance they get.

Peace Pagoda

“Who needs millions eh? Who needs ‘em?”

No answer.

Peace Pagoda, Battersea Park, Wandsworth, SW8

He sighed and theatrically shook his head in feigned disbelief. She didn’t respond. She didn’t seem to care. Or at least she didn’t seem to.

“Never see us going after all the money would you love?”

Go on, he thought. Just disagree with me. Say you’re not happy.

Sugar House Lane

He saw discarded cherry pickers arched up against the side of a hollowed-out building at the very end of the street. They were left stationary, mid-work. They were left stationary, as if their operators had upped and left for good.

Sugar House Lane, Newham, E15

They’ll never come back; they’ll never fix whatever they’re fixing.

Trellick Tower

Once around the block, then i’ll go home.

Erno Goldfinger's Trellick Tower, Notting Hill, Kensington & Chelsea, W10

She could see the tower ahead of her, only a couple of minutes’ walk away. Yet she delayed her route there by diverting down the next available turning; a street of tired-white, semi-detached houses.

Once around this block, then i’ll have to go home.